My Big Dumb Dream

Do you have a Big Dumb Dream? You should. Everyone should. Without us lovers and dreamers, Kermit would have nothing to sing about.

         I have lots of medium sized, not so crazy dreams. I dream of having a roof that doesn't leak, or possibly just a big old house on a large slice of land. I dream about having my own show on HGTV (don't act like you wouldn't watch the shit out of that masterpiece), I dream about publishing a book on furniture adventures. Those are my normal dreams, the ones that I'm pretty sure if I just keep working like flaming Satan is chasing me, maybe, just maybe I will achieve. At least I hope so. I'm pretty damn determined to achieve all those goals or die trying...probably when our rotten roof caves in and squashes me.


          No, a Big Dumb Dream is the one that's waaaaaaaay out in left field. But still, a dream nonetheless. It's a wild flailing hope that Lady Luck might get clumsy and give you an extra serving. That somehow, in some unfathomable string theory-esque alternate dimension there's a turn that you take, or a person that you meet, that leads you down the road to the Big Dumb Dream. Or, to put it bluntly, it's the crazy idea I told my little sister this morning, and she responded with:

             So Erin's apparently not onboard. But there it is. I want so So SOOOOO much, desperately, madly, painfully to attend the Academy Awards. For years, for years this Big Dumb Dream has driven me up the wall. Pathetically, I always think this might be the year, and then of course it isn't, and then I feel like an utter failure once more.  I mean I haven't really tried. Wishing doesn't count as trying. And yes, I know I'm a commoner. I'm not blindingly beautiful, or brilliantly talented, or swimming through mountains of gold Scrooge McDuck style...or, say an actress or producer-someone who has a right to be there. But still, every year I hope. Every year I pick out an imaginary dress, and I start hitting the gym (down 7lbs already woooo!), and I wish on every star, like a child, or a madwoman. Other people's dreams come true- DISNEY HAS SHOWN ME THIS. So, why not my impractical, selfish wish?

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             This coming year,  I'm trying a new strategy, which I've code named "Bribing and Manipulation". Here's the deal. In 2017 in March, I'm going to give away a piece of furniture, something medium-ish sized, and if the winner lives far away, I'm gonna ship it- FOR FREE. Anyone can enter (in the US)- let's not get carried away. And here's the manipulation part. One of you knows someone, one of you has a friend, a contact... something, hook a gal up, don't make me go through this bizarre, thankless ritual for yet another movie awards season. I promise I will NOT grope the celebrities. I promise I WILL write lots of mirth filled content while actively concentrating on not groping said celebrities.