Let's Not Fight

I know with crystalline certainty that someone, and it's always a similar someone (hellooooo lady mullet), is going to shout at me for painting this dresser. But let's not fight. I mean, lady mullet and I are probably still going to come to fisticuffs in the parking lot, because she certainly won't take the time to read this blog post before getting fired up, and me, well, patience isn't my forte.

        So before I need to call one of you to bail me out for assault with a deadly weapon (beautifully turned solid cherry cabriole table leg) allow me to mea culpa my way out of most of the shouting.
To start, here's the picture I WILL NOT be sharing with any my social media pages.

Now, let me explain myself.
       I have a standing rule that I won't refinish anything vintage or antique that doesn't need refinishing. The world is jam packed with enough pathetic, needy furniture for free or less that I would never need to buy another piece for the rest of my life. To be entirely honest, when I saw this listed on craigslist for $20, it sure as hell didn't look like it needed anything other than a tinker tape parade, red carpet, and E! interview as it strutted into my house. I didn't have a single spot for it, but regardless, I wandered around my house with a tape measure, becoming ever more morose as I realized I couldn't adopt this beauty.

       And had it been in perfect condition I would have rather chopped my arm off (not really) than paint it, but pictures are deceiving, and the top of this poor vintage solid walnut dresser was a hot mess. I fully sanded it before painting it. I had to, because Slimer from ghostbusters had spent at least a decade leaving the greasiest oil slick ring on the top. Look, I have photo evidence:

And that's legit. You can phone up the Ghost Hunter's guys and it will ROCK THEIR WORLD. (do you know I was on ghost hunter's once? but I digress)

          This thing had gangrene. Luckily I'm the Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman of furniture. For oily problems you need an oil based solution. After sanding it down I let it breath for 24 hours, I have no idea if that helped but it was pouring rain outside and I was taking the day off, so yea, it's was totally zen and important to let it breath. Today before I started on the painting I gave all the ring stains a solid coat of white spray paint and a stern stare before applying my homemade chalk paint. It worked liked a charm, it always does.

         So via grease battling witchcraft, here's a very pretty c.1935 solid walnut chest of drawers that's going to one of my very favorite clients.